


take away the grief

by bountifulsilences



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric, and this is all i am capable of, i suck, i watched the avengers 4 trailer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 16:51:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16896357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bountifulsilences/pseuds/bountifulsilences
Summary: Tony predicted this would happen. He knew that his soul would perish in the stars, an explosion that couldn’t be prevented.They wouldn’t come for him, couldn’t even. His fate was sealed. He just wished it didn’t have to be liked this.





	take away the grief

**Author's Note:**

> I am crying over this trailer and tony especially and I am sad
> 
> sorry for how badly this sucks and the mistakes but im hurTING

Objectively, the universe was beautiful, Tony thought.

Vibrant colours exploding as gas and forming pillars that soared into the abyss. The sparkling sky he once saw contained multiple sketches of lines, alternating in colour, ranging from blue and green, silver, and white. They faded the longer they stretched, spears of wonder allowing him a glimpse of what existed outside Earth’s alignment.

There was beauty in destruction, he marvelled. Debris launched through the expanse, catching his breath before disappearing. He watched them leave behind no trace of their existence, not even a smudge on the canvas and just...disappear. They were more like him than he first thought. They were over in a glimpse.

But, unlike the asteroids, he was temporary whilst everything beyond earth was permanent. They were infinite, and he was...finite. It was endless, and he was limited, different to those who he once shared the ground with. Every person he had ever met proved to be masterpieces of boundless beauty and harboured universes inside their body. They mattered. He, the wreckage of a sunken ship, didn’t and descended straight into the pits of the deep, at the lowest anything could ever be.

He was different.

It was bewildering to him, how debris- the children of destroyed entities could be so beautiful. How their nature, a consequence of tragedy, did not affect the grandeur of such events.

There was so much left to explore.

But stuck on the ship, orbiting vast space with no destination- no fuel or electricity to guide them home, he wished that it was just him who had to voyage through the deserted wasteland. Sat in the powerless pilot’s seat with ash staining his fingers and clothes covered his blood, he wished that he had done better. Thanos had called it mercy, snapping his fingers so that half of humanity would cease to exist. Mercy for who?

Tony didn’t know who was alive on Earth, what catastrophes happened there. Vision was dead- his Jarvis that stayed up countless nights with him when his parents screamed, when his dad had too much drink and shoved him to the ground- Thanos killed him. To acquire all the stones he had to. He wondered if the Avengers survived. He desperately hoped they did.

Every time his eyes closed, every painful blink felt like eternity when the canvas on his eyelids showed the face of his teammate’s dead, Steve’s bloody face- the death grip on his arm and the accusatory glance. Why didn’t he do more-

Peter was just a child, he didn’t know what he was doing. Tony should have known better. Should’ve tried harder to pull the gauntlet, tried harder to get Nebula to safety, tried harder to be what he said he was.

It was easy telling everyone he was a genius, a philanthropist. But where did it get him? Trapped in exile with the death of millions on his shoulder. He was paying the price.

Tony predicted this would happen. He knew that his soul would perish in the stars, an explosion that couldn’t be prevented. But why did Strange sacrifice the soul for him- why? The coal staining his fingers would’ve been his own blood but at least he’d knowing that his death wasn’t in vain. Thanos didn’t win.

But no. He had to reap what he sowed all those years ago and now everyone was dead and only he lived to mourn them. Was Pepper alive? Who knew. The Avengers? Possibly. But they wouldn’t come for him, couldn’t even. His fate was sealed. There was no way to find him, but who knew if they wanted to. For all they knew, he was dead. Why search for a corpse? He just wished it didn’t have to be liked this.

Sighing, he looked away from the window and waited for Nebula to speak. She had been stood at the door for a while.

“We’re low on oxygen,” she said, voice emotionless. The pain was eating away her life. “By tomorrow morning it will hit zero. I’ve found a mask which-”

“Keep it,” he intervened, voice croaky. “I’ve seen plenty. You’ve still got hope.”

She didn’t reply, but she didn’t have to. After nearly dying multiple times in his lifetime this would be the one which successfully got him. He made peace with his inevitable demise, after all every journey has its end, but she could still live. Nebula was smart, he couldn’t fathom why Thanos underestimated her, she’d prevail. He knew it.

“Are you sure?” she asked, her voice cracking, just slightly.

He didn’t turn to look at her, knowing that after everything she had endured, she had held it together until then, he owed her the privacy. “Positive,” he confirmed, with a sad smile. She left immediately.

The smile dropped instantly. It was getting harder to live.

The discarded suit was on the floor, helmet beckoning him to leave Pepper a message just in case- just in case she survived. She deserved that much, he owed it to her after everything.

He would, eventually. But for now, he stared at the colourful universe around him knowing that come morning, he’d see nothing but black. His eyes would shut for the last time and never open again. Mercy for him indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr:  bountifulsilences   
> twitter:  AwestruckBuck 
> 
> lets cry over the trailer together


End file.
